If you’re like me, you grew up in a one dog household. Your parents were cool (and smart) enough to let you have a dog, but you never thought you could possibly have MORE than one. There was an unspoken “one dog per family” policy in effect.
Then you grew up. Sure, being an adult means having to put up with bills, bosses and bags under your eyes, but it also means that no one (aside from the occasional cranky landlord) can tell you how many dogs you can have. You’re your own owner!
Being a dual-dog owner myself, I can attest that life is much different with two dogs versus life with one, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Here’s 12 things other dual-dog owners won’t tell you.
1. Your bed is no longer yours. Accept that.
“Yeah, we could sleep in the beds appropriately sized to our bodies, but it is of our opinion that the whole pack should sleep together. This is in your best interests, human.”
2. The poop-bag struggle is real.
“Look, you told us to poop and we did. We delivered.”
3. You refer to them as both siblings and boyfriends/girlfriends.
“We prefer to go by our official title ‘friends with benefits.’”
4. It’s impossible to take a selfie with them.*
Getting them to pose for a selfie is like wrangling two kids together after feeding them a pound of Pixie Sticks.
*Author’s note: I had to photoshop myself into that photo. An unedited shot looks like this:
5. They always win.
You try to discipline them, realize they outnumber you and decide that they are doing what they are doing for a reason and you shouldn’t F with nature.
6. The sibling rivalry is real.
“I demand attention 100% of the time and I won’t take no for an answer. Even if it means destroying your ‘nice’ jeans.”
8. You can never, ever have just one bone.
“Mine? Mine?”
“Mineminemineminemineminemineminemine.”
9. Feeding them in the same room will start WWIII.
“My food is my food and your food is my food.”
10. Walks are a highly technical obstacle course in which all efforts are spent not tripping over the leashes.
“I wanna go this way!”
“I wanna go that way!”
“Oh wait I need to get around these legs. Shoot I didn’t get all the way around I’m gonna have to take another loop…”
11. Two birds one stone does not apply to bath time.
“But we already had a bath last year!”
12. Sometimes they get all ‘Lady and the Tramp’ on you.
Should I give you two some privacy?
12. You wouldn’t trade either of them for anything in the world!
Because eight paws are better than four!
