"Know thyself" is easier said than done. Upon examination, it turns out that bodies are super weird. They make noises out of their mouths AND their butts. Have you ever thought about that? Like, what ARE butts even? More importantly, WHY are butts? There are just so many questions...
1. "Aha! My nemesis returns! Quick, the game is afoot!"
2. "What do you mean my body can't handle chocolate? How can something that smells SO GOOD be SO BAD?!"
3. "WHAT IS THIS FEELING IN MY BUTT? OH, that's better."
4. "No... no, I'm fine. Just a little indigestio— DEAR GOD, WHAT DEMON INSIDE ME PRODUCES THESE NOXIOUS FUMES?! AND HOW CAN I THANK HIM?!"
5. "Ever try to look at your body like an alien would? Like, I come down on my spaceship and see these dog things, and I'm like, "What the hell is this thing on its face? That's a weird looking bit of flesh." And alien-me would be right! I mean, look at it? How weird are noses?!"
6. "It's 96 degrees outside, Dennis, and I'm not relying on panting alone. Just because you're not worried about heat stroke, it doesn't mean I shouldn't be. NO I'M NOT BEING EXTREME! Check your sweat privilege, Dennis."
7. "I've become aware of my tongue, and now I can't stop. Here, you try. Think about your tongue. How it feels. Is it touching your teeth? Good. Now we're both miserable."
8. "Have you ever looked at your hand, man? I mean, really looked at it?"
9. "You know what they say about big paws? They're better for swimming!"
10. "Human, I have gathered my precious bodily fibers. They are not to be disturbed. They are my essence, and cannot be truly shed. You sense my power, and seek this essence, but you must avoid disposing of these fibers, my fur. I will not be separated from myself."
11. "I HAVE A TASTE!"
12. "I HAVE RAPTOR ARMS. Why?!"
Featured image via Wired