How To Use Your Dog To Get Out Of 12 Awkward Situations

Written by: Emily Wang

February 15, 2016

We all get trapped in those super awkward moments that are just part of everyday life. Good thing us dog lovers have a handy sidekick that often acts as a buffer for those situations! Simply follow our handy how-to guide below to become a complete boss at dealing with awkward situations.

1. When your blind date is going horribly and you’ve just got to get out of there.

Step 1: Check your phone.

Step 2: Make a dramatic Taylor Swift “shock” face.

Step 3: Tell him you forgot to leave the patio door open and you’ve just got to get home to let your dog out.

Step 4: Quick! Block his number.

2. When you have unexpected company and your house is a mess.

Step 1: Bare a grin and graciously welcome your guests into your humble abode.

Step 2: Distract you guests by asking them to take their shoes off.

Step 3: Shockingly exclaim, “Oh gosh, it looks like my dog literally JUST had a frap moment and scattered their toys everywhere in the flurry! Please excuse the mess – this is just so unlike us!”

Step 4: Secretly grin to yourself at your swiftness in saving your own butt.

3. When you wave to someone and it turns out it’s someone you don’t know.
Step 1: Continue waving and look down at your pup.

Step 2: Quickly whisper a command to your dog under your breath.

Step 3: Loudly praise your dog for whatever behavior he does. Wave, jump, lay down, doesn’t matter. Just say “GOOD BOY! Oh what a good boy!”

Step 4: Walk along as if nothing happened.

4. When your stomach gurgles in a silent room.

Step 1: Look around and see if anybody noticed.

Step 2: If anyone looks at you, quickly let out a chuckle.

Step 3: Casually say, “Oh dear, I must have forgotten to feed Buster again. Silly me!”

Step 4: Head to the kitchen and pretend to feed your dog.

5. Getting hit on while you’re waiting for your Uber, bus, taxi, etc.

Step 1: Pat your dog on the head.

Step 2: Look at your watch.

Step 3: End the awkward conversation by saying, “Oh gosh, look at the time! We’ve taken too long of a walk break now. Gotta keep the heart rate up. Let’s go!”

Step 4: Proceed to quickly walk your dog away from the creepy man.

6. Accidentally having toilet paper stuck on the bottom of your shoe.

Step 1: Quickly ensure the toilet paper you have stuck on you is clean.

Step 2: Delightedly exclaim, “Oh that darn puppy! Rolling our CLEAN toilet paper around like it’s a toy or something. Now I’ve got some stuck to me from cleaning it all up.”

Step 3: Get rid of the toilet paper faster than a dog could devour a hot dog.

7. Being caught playing hooky by your boss.

Step 1: Whatever you do, act normal.

Step 2: Greet your boss and let him know your dog caught the cold too (that’s scientifically possible…right?)

Step 3: Bow out of the conversation by saying you’re just on your way to bring your dog to the vet… in this shopping cart… at the store.

Step 4: Scurry away while letting out a cough and a sneeze.

8. When you get invited to something you don’t want to go to at all.

Step 1: Thank the gracious host for inviting you.

Step 2: Check your calendar on your phone or in your planner with an excited smile on your face.

Step 3: Wipe that smile off your face and exclaim, “OHHH NO….SO sorry, I have to attend a doggy birthday party that day… maybe next time?”

Step 4: Delight in the glory that you no longer have to attend the event.

9. Tripping down the stairs, on the stairs, or just plain on the sidewalk…
dog stairs

Step 1: Quickly get up with grace.

Step 2: Exclaim that your dog just happened to get trapped between your feet.

Step 3: Pat your dog to make sure they are not hurt from “getting trapped between your feet.”

Step 4: Move along.

10. Squeezing yourself into a crowded elevator.

Step 1: Look around to see if anyone is giving you a mean look.

Step 2: Simply respond to those mean glares by saying, “My dog has a bad back and can’t take the stairs. Thanks for understanding.”

Step 3: Wait for the resounding AWW’s. Your dog may even receive a pat on the head.

11. When you burst out in laughter and no one else is amused.

Step 1: Wrap up your lone laughter.

Step 2: If anyone looks at you, just say your dog did something hilarious.

Step 3: Share a fun fact about your dog to redirect people’s attention.

Step 4: Allow said people to pet your dog and all will be forgotten.

12. Finally, bodily odors. Just ew. 

Only one simple step needed: Say,“It was the dog.”

Written by: Emily Wang

February 15, 2016