Fun

19 Things Only Dachshund Parents Understand

Written by: Lisa Bernier

October 28, 2014

There are dogs… and then there are Dachshunds. Doxies. Wiener dogs. Sausages. You name it–they’re long and they’re hilarious 99% of the time.

They look weird, and they act even weirder. And some (if not most) of the things they do just can’t be explained other than with a shrug and the words, “It’s a doxie thing.”

If you’ve got one, you know exactly what I mean–here’s 19 reasons for proof.

1. The mutherpuppers don’t shut up.

Maybe the length of their bodies stretches their vocabulary too. I’ve heard some noises come out of my Doxie I didn’t think existed on the spectrum of sound.

2. Say goodbye to your neatly kept lawn. Or houseplant. Or cushions. It’s all earth to them.

Have paws. Will dig. That’s the Doxie motto.

Image via Dog Shaming.
Image via Dog Shaming.

3. They have a whole song devoted to them.

And sometimes, you croon it to them as a lullaby.

4. There is always the word “selective” in front of “listening.”

Command a dachshund? HA.

5. You have to constantly check blankets. Sweaters. Under cushions.

Because those wriggly little suckers burrow like no tomorrow.

6. Those little legs are surprisingly fast.

Turbo wiener!

7. For a bunch of stubby legged sausages…

They can JUMP.

Image via Little Sausages Blog
Image via Little Sausages Blog

8. They sometimes overestimate their capabilities.

And it will give you gray hairs. (That delicate back! Argh!)

9. They give the word stubborn a new definition.

And no one will else will get why you’re arguing with a dog about getting your darn pillow back.

10. They can walk perfectly fine on leash.

They just choose not to.

Image via Bustle
Image via Bustle

11. Their farts smell like garbage.

Well, think of what they eat. Not what you feed them. WHAT THEY EAT.

Image via Dog Shaming and YouTube
Image via Dog Shaming and YouTube

12. They have one thought: FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…

… OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

13. Their lying–ahem–acting, is better than Meryl Streep’s.

And they know they deserve the Oscar.

14. There’s such a thing as a sideways run.

And it’s hilarious.

15. Sitting is interpretative.

And it doesn’t always involve a butt on the ground.

Image via Reddit
Image via Reddit

16. If there’s a spare human body part anywhere…

They will sit on it.

Image via reddit
Image via reddit

17. They may go bald.

So now you have a legit excuse to stick them into adorable jackets.

Image via Celebrity Dachshund
Image via Celebrity Dachshund

18. Wiener puns will become part of your daily routine.

It’s probably the only time random strangers will point and squeal, “wiener!” and it’s ok.

doxie14

19. Once you go Dach, you don’t go back.

Because their love, snugs, and loyalty are unmatchable. 🙂

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Featured Image via @weirdwiener

For more, check out these articles!

Written by: Lisa Bernier

October 28, 2014

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