Your pup perches atop a mighty THRONE of trophies earned in the eternal war on dog toys. Sure, these plushies may look cute and innocuous, but all pups know those plush bodies are filled with stuffing and grand plans of world domination.
That's why they're not taking any chances, and why they're the best "soldiers against squeak" in the Destroyers Club.
After all, it's not about the stuffing littering your floor, but the thrill
that comes with victory over the enemy. And those fluff-less remains are not garbage to your pup---they're proof of their might!
On this day we declare 10 hounds heroes in the name of the Great Battle of the Plush. May your pups continue the joyous carnage and join the club by tagging #DESTROYERSCLUB
on Instagram, so that we all may mourn and celebrate the new toys to come
. (Oh, and so your dastardly dog can be featured on @thebarkshop
and a new #DESTROYERSCLUB Top 10 roundup every Friday!)
1. "He looked at us funny. I'm only trying to protect this family, Diane."
Tbh, when have you ever met a poo that gave you a look you liked?
2. The enemy isn't down until they're taken down a second day in a row, according to Mojo.
3. "You couldn't handle the truth. So I took care of the problem for you."
Someone maaaaay have been watching too much House of Cards
4. Nacho's intentions were pure, but when the Plush Taxi refused to lay off the horn at a standstill...
... his inner Mad Max Fury Road came out.
5. When your pup can't see red, but they see plaid... and they decide it's an evil, evil pattern.
6. Those magic buses get TERRIBLE mileage, and Xiao-Li knows it.
Saving the planet, one squeaky gas guzzler at a time.
7. The epitome of a well-oiled machine: Callie makes the kill, Annie performs the squeakerectomy.
Premeditated, and great for meditation.
8. She may look innocent, but Pixie is one of the few contenders who attacks toy AND fluff.
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She's like a one dog SEAL Team 6!
9. Teddy's seen Toy Story. He knows what happens when you take your eye off them.
These plushies won't be walking (or talking) anywhere thanks to his meticulous destruction.
10. Talk about a throne! Wiley looks fondly upon a sea of fuzzy trophies, waiting for the human to restock the supply.
"The day is still young, Mom. There are more toys to triumph over, more fun to be had."
Here's what you gotta do to get your dog into the Destroyer's Club: let your dog do her thang (a.k.a. bring honor to her family by defeating the stuffing out of the enemy), take a pic of it, and post it with #DESTROYERSCLUB on Instagram. Stock up on more
toys trophies at The BarkShop!
adorable featured image via @klausiedoodle/Instagram