This post contains language not suitable for tiny humans, big humans… continue reading!

They are the people who post about dogs on Craigslist. Some of these people love dogs, some of these people don’t love dogs and some of these people are just plain… well, weird.

1. The Dog Who Thinks He’s Nietzsche.

There are a few antisocial breeds out there, but hounds aren’t one of them. Except for this guy’s hound, who hates everything.

Basically, his dog is like every brooding boyfriend I’ve ever had.

2. This Owner Who Wrote His Dogs A Complaint Letter.

It’s a shame that dogs can’t read.

3. This Human Who Tried To Advise Her Dogs On The Harsh Realities Of Life.

Don’t play with the cat! It’s a trap! Also, ew.

4. The Person Who Never Wants You To Be Without Your Dog.

Do you think they have an Etsy store? I think they need an Etsy store. Maybe even a Kickstarter campaign to get this business off the ground.

5. This Dog That’s Looking For An Airbnb.

According to the ad, this pup is also a total chick magnet. Who could say no?

6. These People Who Can’t Remember Where They Put Their Bacon. (The HORROR!)

They should rent that guy’s Beagle.

7. The Dog Who Made His Owner Unattractive.

This one time, I was chatting up this gorgeous guy and then out of nowhere my Shiba pops a squat and lets out a massive poop. That guy couldn’t get away from me fast enough.

8. This Good Samaritan Who Wants To Care For Your Pets After The Rapture.

Love thy neighbor and thy neighbor’s dog.

9. The “Found Objects” Artist.

This is the perfect gift for the dog lover in your life. I bet she’ll make you a custom piece if you send her your dog’s nail clippings and fur.