12 Conversations Every Dog Mom Has With Their Dog

Everyone talks to their dogs -- especially dog moms. In fact, us dog moms can talk to our pups about anything. For better or worse. Usually for worse. 1. Greetings mwhitneyyx Dog: Hi! Dog Mom: Hi! Dog: Hi! Dog Mom: Hi. Dog: Hi! Dog Mom: Yes, hi. Dog: Hi! Dog Mom: How much longer we gonna do this? Dog: Hi! Dog Mom: (sigh) Hi. 2. Photography dog-mom-convo-1 Dog Mom: Selfie time! C'mere! *grabs dog* DOG: OH GOD. Dog Mom: Ugh, sit still. DOG: WHAT IS HAPPENING? WHAT IS THIS FLASH OF LIGHT?  Dog Mom: Chill out for a second! I just want a cute pic. DOG: I SAID NO, LADY! 3. Health kfictum Dog: Gimme burger. Dog Mom: I can't. It's not good for you. Dog: Right. Hey, totally unrelated -- how's your diet going? Dog Mom: ..... Dog: Gimme burger. 4. Honesty harleyandharper Dog: Where are they? Dog Mom: Where are what? Dog: My balls. Dog Mom: Oh boy. Dog: I know you know. Dog Mom: It's... complicated. Dog: I want them back. Dog Mom: I know. Dog: I’m gonna get ‘em back. Mark my words. Dog Mom: OK. 5. Departures mydogsparadise Dog Mom: C'mon, buddy. I gotta leave. Dog: So leave. Dog Mom: I can't. You're literally sitting in my shoes. Dog: Well, I guess you have some decisions to make, don't you? [bp_related_article] 6. Etiquette kathit01 Dog Mom: How many times do I have to ask you to put that thing away? Dog: IT’S MY LIFE I’LL DO WHAT I WANT. Dog Mom: Well. It’s not very lady-like. Dog: IT'S MY MOST LADY-LIKE FEATURE. 7. Fashion rangerdangerpupDog Mom: Have you seen my pink bra? Dog: I don’t see color the way you do, so I wouldn't know anything about a pink bra. Dog Mom: What’s that in your mouth? Dog: A delicious bra. Color unknown. 8. Friends kmcglynn89 Dog Mom: Hey, so I have a... friend stopping by tonight. He's very nice. And he may end up sleeping over. Just wanted to give you a heads up that my... friend will be here. Dog: A "friend," huh? Dog Mom: Yes, a friend. Dog: .... Dog Mom: What? Dog: .... Dog Mom: Stop looking at me like that! 9. Art preethibayya Dog: Hey, Mom, do you like my art? Dog Mom: No. And this isn't art. Dog: Yes it is. It's about us. I call it Love: A Deconstruction. Dog Mom: I hate it. Dog: I'm glad you have a strong reaction to it. I'll be doing a new piece every day for a year as a part of my residency. 10. Expenses whaddupbean Dog: Call in sick. Do it. Dog Mom: I can’t. I want to, but I can't. Dog: Why not? Dog Mom: Because I have to make money to buy you things. Dog: OK, fine. 11. Exercise liz_yoga15 Dog: Yoga at home is so relaxi -- WHOA, MOM, LOOK!! THE NEW DOG IS OUT FOR A WALK!! Dog Mom: I gotta start going to the gym. 12. Sex _nair Dog Mom: Is this mine or yours? Dog: Are you serious?! Dog Mom: What? Dog: Obviously it's yours.
Featured image via @vtresek87/Instagram

Hope Bobbitt

6 years ago

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