“Dog Police” Is The Worst Thing That’s Ever Happened To Music And Television

Written by: Zoe Costello

December 22, 2015

Welcome to Bark After Dark, a series of hilarious but slightly unusual articles we post in the wee hours of the morning for you weirdos night owls. Not for the faint of heart, weak of stomach, or low of humor. Enjoy!

They’re dogs, they’re detectives, they’re psychic aliens from space, AND they’re going through a divorce? Dog Police is the television pilot, co-starring Jeremy Piven and Adam Sandler, that you have to see to believe, then go to therapy to forget. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

What the HELL is going on here!? Someone put money into this. Actors auditioned for this. Lives were ruined because of this. Yours, mine, definitely this poor kid’s…

He probably developed a fear of dogs after his stage mom dragged him on set to play the puppy with whom the two, lead, psychic, cop-dogs share joint custody. Yeah, that sentence just freakin’ happened.

Ugh, this is why noone likes you 1980s. …You either, Jeremy Piven.

Bonus nightmare! The pilot was inspired (or, demonically spawned) by this 1984 music video for the song “Dog Police” from a band named, you guessed it, Dog Police.

Apologies ahead of time for getting this song stuck in your head …and burned in your soul.

Anyone else needs a support group?

Written by: Zoe Costello

December 22, 2015