Everyone has their own fears. Some are more rational than others. Personally, I am terrified of pigeons. And bugs. OK, so pretty much anything with wings. Also, rejection. Sorry, too real?
My point is, who am I to judge a dog that's scared of a can of Coke Zero? So in light of Howl-oween, here are some pawtential antagonists you might find in a horror movie, if dogs were the producers.
1. A PLASTIC BAG
First of all this is a teenie weenie dog, and to shorties like us (I'm 4'11 so I include myself), EVERYTHING is terrifying. This bag is flying on its own
. It's basically
a ghost. A BAG OF GHOSTS.
There it is. That's the title.
When I see balloons I think, "Oh no. There's going to be a party." This is terrifying for any introvert (dog or hooman). Also, I can't even imagine how loud a balloon popping is for a dog. So yes, a movie full of balloons is a scary movie indeed.
3. TOY CARS
Um, AGAIN, this is an inanimate object moving ON ITS OWN. Don't even act like Ghost Car
would not sell out in theaters.
4. THE VACUUM CLEANER
AKA the TERROR MACHINE. Pawhaps dogs aren't as scared of the actual vacuum cleaner itself as they are of what's inside of it. A scary movie starring a GIANT DUST BUNNY? I'd see that.
5. WINNIE THE POOH
Hear me out. Sure, Winnie might be a bear who loves honey and hates
pants, but the bottom line is, he's still a BEAR. And last time I checked bears=terrifying.
7. A GARDEN HOSE
Sure, it might look like an innocent garden hose at first glance.
BUT it could also be a very, very skinny version of Anaconda
. You know what's scarier than an anacodona? An anaconda on a JUICE FAST.
8. A CAN OF COKE ZERO
Coke Zero could totally be a horror movie about chemical weapons. LOOK OUT, IT'S ASPERTAME!!!
9. A CELL PHONE
OK, honestly, it's 2015. I won't even act like this is not my exact reaction when my phone rings. So yes, a movie in which all of the characters are constantly getting phone calls WITHOUT WARNING TEXTS could totally be in the horror genre.
10. A BATHROOM DINOSAUR
How would you like this to walk in on you when you're trying to take a poo in peace?
11. A DUCKLING
I know what you're thinking: What could possibly be scary about this duckling? Well, do you remember "The Ugly Duckling?" Well, it got some work done, and now it wants revenge.
12. BRIDAL MAGAZINES
Um, I don't know if you've ever been stuck on a bridesmaid email chain, but it is a horror movie in itself. I do not blame this dog at all. This dog is completely justified.
13. A FART
Tell me Silent But Deadly
is not the best name for a horror movie you've ever heard. Farts that kill you. BOX OFFICE GOLD.