If Popular TV Shows Starred Dogs

Written by: Dr. Katy Nelson

May 24, 2017

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Everything’s better with dogs. It’s a classic equation: anything + dogs = better. And that includes television. While Unlikely Animal friends is incredible, it is just not enough. I need more plot, more drama, more story. So I have some shows to pitch.

1. Seinfeld

“Why does water taste so much better when it’s in a human’s cup? What’s up with that?”

Jerry: Standard Poodle. Looks a little funny, but is just a normal dog.
Elaine: Yorkie. Great hair, very yippy.
Kramer: Great Dane. Awkward body, always means well.
George: Boston Terrier. Looks like an angry bean, is an angry bean.

2. Sex and the City

“I couldn’t help but wonder, ‘Do humans like treats, too?”

Carrie: Maltese. Smart, but a bit annoying; prone to wearing weird outfits.
Samantha: Shih Tzu. Classy, but sniffs a lot of butts. We’re not judging, but it’s a lot.
Charlotte: King Charles Spaniel. Raised for pampering, a bit old-fashioned.
Miranda: Dalmatian. All business. You want to just snuggle her but she wouldn’t like that sort of thing.

3. I Love Lucy

“Lucy you got some splainin’ to doooooo… You need to explain why is there toilet paper ALL over the bathroom.”

Lucy: Brussels Griffon. Makes the funniest faces. Honestly, those faces are the point of the show.
Ricky: Italian Greyhound. Doesn’t speak English very well, looks good with a cigar.
Fred: English Bulldog. Tries to act tough, but really just likes to sit and eat snacks.
Ethel: Australian Shepherd. Sensible and kind, great with kids.

4. Friends

“I’ll be there for you when the rain starts to pour… unless there’s thunder. Then I’m outta there.”

Ross: Bloodhound. Always feels a little bad for himself, tireless when following a scent. Like he’ll even follow a scent all the way to an airport to make sure that the scent DOES NOT GET ON THAT PLANE.
Rachel: Afghan Hound. Elegant, friendly, her nose wasn’t always this sleek.
Monica: Shiba Inu. It is never out of character for her to dance with a turkey on her head.
Chandler: Frenchie. Makes a lot of jokes, not very funny, great companion.
Phoebe: Dachshund. Has a lot of personality, very nosey
Joey: Beagle. Always sniffing around for food. Will not share said food

Hopefully we’ll see some of these shows get picked up on primetime, but I really have exhausted every episode of Unlikely Animal Friends. I know the friends, I get why they’re unlikely, I’m ready for something more. Who’s with me?

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Written by: Dr. Katy Nelson

May 24, 2017