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Everything's better with dogs. It’s a classic equation: anything + dogs = better. And that includes television. While Unlikely Animal friends is incredible, it is just not enough. I need more plot, more drama, more story. So I have some shows to pitch.
“Why does water taste so much better when it’s in a human’s cup? What’s up with that?”
: Standard Poodle. Looks a little funny, but is just a normal dog.
: Yorkie. Great hair, very yippy.
: Great Dane. Awkward body, always means well.
: Boston Terrier. Looks like an angry bean, is an angry bean.
2. Sex and the City
“I couldn’t help but wonder, ‘Do humans like treats, too?”
: Maltese. Smart, but a bit annoying; prone to wearing weird outfits.
: Shih Tzu. Classy, but sniffs a lot of butts. We’re not judging, but it’s a lot.
: King Charles Spaniel. Raised for pampering, a bit old-fashioned.
: Dalmatian. All business. You want to just snuggle her but she wouldn’t like that sort of thing.
3. I Love Lucy
“Lucy you got some splainin’ to doooooo… You need to explain why is there toilet paper ALL over the bathroom.”
: Brussels Griffon. Makes the funniest faces. Honestly, those faces are the point of the show.
: Italian Greyhound. Doesn’t speak English very well, looks good with a cigar.
: English Bulldog. Tries to act tough, but really just likes to sit and eat snacks.
: Australian Shepherd. Sensible and kind, great with kids.
"I’ll be there for you when the rain starts to pour… unless there’s thunder. Then I’m outta there."
: Bloodhound. Always feels a little bad for himself, tireless when following a scent. Like he’ll even follow a scent all the way to an airport to make sure that the scent DOES NOT GET ON THAT PLANE.
: Afghan Hound. Elegant, friendly, her nose wasn’t always this sleek.
: Shiba Inu. It is never out of character for her to dance with a turkey on her head.
: Frenchie. Makes a lot of jokes, not very funny, great companion.
: Dachshund. Has a lot of personality, very nosey
: Beagle. Always sniffing around for food. Will not share said food
Hopefully we’ll see some of these shows get picked up on primetime, but I really have exhausted every episode of Unlikely Animal Friends. I know the friends, I get why they’re unlikely, I’m ready for something more. Who’s with me?
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