Fun

If Popular TV Shows Starred Dogs

Written by: Dr. Katy Nelson

May 24, 2017

This story originally appeared in BarkPost email, the new home of BarkPost’s original articles. If you want silly stories, fascinating dog facts, cute pup pics, and puplifting stories every week, sign up at BarkPost.com!

Everything’s better with dogs. It’s a classic equation: anything + dogs = better. And that includes television. While Unlikely Animal friends is incredible, it is just not enough. I need more plot, more drama, more story. So I have some shows to pitch.

1. Seinfeld

“Why does water taste so much better when it’s in a human’s cup? What’s up with that?”

Jerry: Standard Poodle. Looks a little funny, but is just a normal dog.
Elaine: Yorkie. Great hair, very yippy.
Kramer: Great Dane. Awkward body, always means well.
George: Boston Terrier. Looks like an angry bean, is an angry bean.

2. Sex and the City

“I couldn’t help but wonder, ‘Do humans like treats, too?”

Carrie: Maltese. Smart, but a bit annoying; prone to wearing weird outfits.
Samantha: Shih Tzu. Classy, but sniffs a lot of butts. We’re not judging, but it’s a lot.
Charlotte: King Charles Spaniel. Raised for pampering, a bit old-fashioned.
Miranda: Dalmatian. All business. You want to just snuggle her but she wouldn’t like that sort of thing.

3. I Love Lucy

“Lucy you got some splainin’ to doooooo… You need to explain why is there toilet paper ALL over the bathroom.”

Lucy: Brussels Griffon. Makes the funniest faces. Honestly, those faces are the point of the show.
Ricky: Italian Greyhound. Doesn’t speak English very well, looks good with a cigar.
Fred: English Bulldog. Tries to act tough, but really just likes to sit and eat snacks.
Ethel: Australian Shepherd. Sensible and kind, great with kids.

4. Friends

“I’ll be there for you when the rain starts to pour… unless there’s thunder. Then I’m outta there.”

Ross: Bloodhound. Always feels a little bad for himself, tireless when following a scent. Like he’ll even follow a scent all the way to an airport to make sure that the scent DOES NOT GET ON THAT PLANE.
Rachel: Afghan Hound. Elegant, friendly, her nose wasn’t always this sleek.
Monica: Shiba Inu. It is never out of character for her to dance with a turkey on her head.
Chandler: Frenchie. Makes a lot of jokes, not very funny, great companion.
Phoebe: Dachshund. Has a lot of personality, very nosey
Joey: Beagle. Always sniffing around for food. Will not share said food

Hopefully we’ll see some of these shows get picked up on primetime, but I really have exhausted every episode of Unlikely Animal Friends. I know the friends, I get why they’re unlikely, I’m ready for something more. Who’s with me?

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Written by: Dr. Katy Nelson

May 24, 2017

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