Confessions Of A Male Crazy Dog Lady

Reviewed by Brandon Rhoads

April 10, 2015

My name is Brandon Rhoads. I am anatomically male. Yet, somehow, I just can’t shake the feeling… I’m a Crazy Dog Lady.


According to the Urban Dictionary, a crazy dog lady is an “unmarried woman with at least two full-size dogs living in her small townhouse or apartment… similar to the Crazy Cat Lady, but she actually likes her dogs, using them to fill the man void in her life.”


But us ladies at the BarkPost find the traditional use of the term a little derogatory, slightly sexist, and just plain inaccurate. So we’re taking it back.


In actuality, crazy dog ladies are much more likely to look like this:


Or even…


Because crazy dog ladies are everywhere these days. They come from all walks of life and both genders.


So when did I realize I’m a crazy dog lady trapped in a man’s body?

I think I really figured it out when, one day, someone overheard me speaking to my dog and rather sarcastically asked me, “Does the dog ever talk back?”


Sadly, my pup Ricky never has talked back, though I sure wish he could.

My world would be such a brighter, less confusing place if only my dog could talk.


I’ll have to settle on my powers of interpretation and deduction, which admittedly aren’t great, but I do believe strongly in the rapport I have with Ricky.

I don’t really think of him as a pet or child, so much as I think of him as a friend. Ricky’s my best bud.


Many of the male dog lovers I know have powerful relationships with their dogs.

So why the gendered term “crazy dog lady?”

Well, I have a theory.


Regardless of how you feel about the term, I doubt that anyone can deny the feelings they experience in the presence of their dog (squee!) speak very well to the sensation of being a stereotypical crazy dog lady.


It’s not that the sensation is necessarily feminine or masculine so much as it is over-powering and discombobulating. Dogs give dog lovers intense feels.


But in the eyes of the uninitiated, those feels tend to make dog lovers appear…


Just like any relationship, the relationship a human has with their pup must be nurtured and maintained.

For some, having that level of emotional intimacy with an animal seems strange, so they rely on slurs to equip themselves against feelings they don’t understand or don’t wish to understand. In other words, they’re cat people.


Me, I don’t claim to understand the nature of my relationship with Ricky. Is it latent paternal instincts on my part? Or is it something more elemental, harkening back to the days that primitive humans and dogs sat around poorly constructed fires and shared what little food each could scavenge for the other?


Beats me.

All I know is that I love my dog. I’ve genuinely loved every dog I’ve ever had a relationship with. From my childhood pup Digger…


…to an old roomie’s pup, Simone…


…my father-in-law’s pup, Nico…


…and all the office pups!


I just love dogs. It might make me crazy. It might even make me less of a “man.” But I just don’t give a pup.

I’m proud to be a Crazy Dog Lady! And you can be proud, too, no matter who you are!


Jealous cuz you don’t have any of the wicked cool dog gear featured above? Head on over to the BarkShop and equip yo’ self!


Reviewed by Brandon Rhoads

April 10, 2015