You know when there is that one kid at a slumber party that falls asleep before everyone else and it’s super… awkward? That is the story of 3-year-old Labrador Stella’s hind legs.
Her dad, Jody, tells us:
Stella does so many awkward things, but perhaps the most awkward of them all is her way of “braking.” In order to cool her belly down on the grass after she’s been playing, she simply drops and drags her hind legs while she is still running. This allows her to come to a complete stop while getting maximum coolness coverage on her underside.
We get it, Stella. Sometimes you have to brake to get a break. It’s exhausting being a dingus.
After a full day of hunting bubbles, something’s gotta give.
“Seriously, who let all of these bubbles out here?!?”
But Stella is not afraid of the bubble chase. The only thing that scares her these days is the dishwasher. It wasn’t always like that, though. It wasn’t until one calamitous night when she let her derpiness get the best of her.
When Stella was younger she would sneak to the open dishwasher while her humans weren’t in the kitchen, in order to lick the dirty dishes. One fateful night, Stella, sensing that one of her humans was going to catch her in the act, went to pull away from the dishwasher. Little did she know her collar had become wrapped around a hook on the lower dish rack.
To say things escalated quickly would be the understatement of the century. The entire rack, filled with dishes, came out attached to a small, panicked Stella. The unworldly sound emitted from terrified Stella, combined with shattering ceramic and silverware, is like nothing we have ever heard. By the time we were able to process what had happened, Stella was a trembling mess in the corner of the living room, and broken dishes lay strewn about the house.
Now Stella goes into a cold sweat whenever she hears the sound of dishes. And we don’t like to talk about that night anymore, do we? No, no we don’t.
Ah, finally, sweet relaxation. Now for a glass of whiskers by the fire. Whiskey. I meant whiskey.
Stella really lets her dingus flag fly when her humans are in the shower. She likes to sit like the Little Bo Pup that she is, with the shower curtain draped over her head like a bonnet straight out of 1870s Derpville.
Sorry, Stella. No matter how close you get, you’re never going to wash the dingus off ‘ya. Just look at the chicken cutlets you have for legs.
Just in case you thought that Stella was not always this dingusy, here she is as a tired little pupper. Oh you meant to do that? Okay, sure. We all like to sleep with only our feet on the bed.
Stella’s got a thirst for life that is bound to tire a lady out.
But that’s what makes her a true dingus. So stay tired, Stella.
Stay you, Stellllllaaaaaaa.