Remember that meme circa 2012? FLASHBACK TIME!
Sharing your life with a dog is one of those experiences that changes you. It involves learning what bully sticks are made of (you might not want to do a Google Image search for this one), finding out your dog’s funny scooting across the carpet means he needs his butt squeezed, and investing lots of bones on lint rollers (or just changing your wardrobe to match the color of your dog’s fur. Yes, I’m that person.).
Even the things you say change when you become a pup parent. Things like:
1. “I rescued him, but sometimes I feel like he rescued me, you know?”
2. “Do I have dog hair on me?”
Yes. The answer is always yes.
3. “Pugs Labs Frenchies Pits *insert breed here* are the best!”
4. “Did she fart? Sorry.”
5. “Is it pee or water?”
6. “It’s a *insert breed here* thing.”
7. “I like sniffing her paws. Is that weird?”
It’s not weird at all.
8. “I can’t go out after work, I have to walk my dog.”
LIES. You’d just rather hang out with your furry best friend.
9. “She waits for me to throw away the bag, and she poops again. She knows what she’s doing.”
10. “Puppy breath smells soooo good.”
11. “Who wants a treat? Is it you? Is it you?!”
12. “I love and trust my dog more than I do other humans.”
13. “Let’s have a puppy playdate this weekend!”
14. “He’s 11, but he’s still got that puppy in him.”
15. “It smells like anal glands in here.”
GUILTY.
16. “We’re not together anymore. He said he’s a cat person.”
17. “No, she likes you. She just growls when she wants to play.”
18. “Sometimes he looks so lonely and I feel like I should get him a little brother or sister.”
19. “I hate that Sarah McLachlan song.”
Stay weird, Dog Friends. Stay weird.
