13 Perfectly Normal Things That Terrify Our Terrier

Written by: Dr. Katy Nelson

April 15, 2016

We love our terrier Louie more than anything in the world, but our terrier is NOT in love with the world. Shortly after adopting him, we realized there is a reason that ‘terror’ is built into the name. Whether it be a speck of dust or a leaf that gently falls at his paws, our terrier reacts as if he is IN a horror movie 100% of the time.

Here are some of the things that put him on edge:

1. Piñatas

piñata dog
“I don’t trust you. You are just a hollow colorful shell of an animal.”

We get it — they are so unpredictable. First there’s the loud noise that comes from hitting it, accompanied by items you don’t recognize come flying out of it. There are so many factors of general madness around a piñata that it’s no surprise it comes up first on the list.

2. Mail

mail terror
“I can’t look. Is it bills? Please don’t be bills. Please don’t be bills.”

A legitimately terrifying thing for any human, so we can understand why little Louie would be scared. At this point, if you are receiving mail, you’ve done something wrong — red light camera ticket, IRS, Bed Bath and Beyond coupons.

3. Toilet paper stacks

toilet paper terror
“If I get any closer it WILL eat me. I just know it.”

The #toiletpaperchallenge, an Instagram challenge that shows how tall your dog is compared to rolls of toilet paper, seems incredibly silly. Because it is. But also it is absolutely frightening for 50% of the participants featured here. Sprucing up the toilet paper stack with a rubber mustache led to nightmares and a mistrust in all toilet paper rolls from here forward.

4. Radiators

“If I close my eyes we will surely die.”

AKA Louie’s mortal enemy. Radiators make sounds like they are animals, but they never move, at least during Louie’s waking hours. He has no idea what they do when he sleeps. So he doesn’t sleep. If he slips and catches a few ZZZ’s it’s filled with terror dreams, and he violently jerks himself awake at least 4 or 5 times a night.

5. An apple

an apple
“I refuse to believe you are in fact edible.”

Louie’s general policy is: If it’s not meat, it’s not food. An apple certainly is not meat, but Louie can’t make heads or tails of what it is. When he can’t identify foods, they become new sources of terror.

6. Mirrors

“If I don’t move you won’t be able to see me.”

This is actually a video. Louie is frozen in terror. This is his number two defense mechanism after his number one defense mechanism: the run-piddle-run.

7. What’s over there

what's over there terror
“Don’t move. Not gonna move. I don’t know what it is, but I know that it can sense movement and will attack once I blink.”

It could be anything. There are so many things Louie doesn’t know about in his limited understanding of the world that the possibilities of what it COULD be horrifies him the most.

8. The Month of April

calendar terror
“I pity the fool that enjoys April.”

Everyone spends so much time ‘bewaring the ides of March’ no one sees April coming. From the very first day, April is set out to make you a fool. But Louie is on to you, April.

9. My Own Mustache

mustache terror
“I’m no match for my mustache.”

Louie takes great pride in his mustache, as evidenced by the constant licking of the mustache and checking himself out in reflective surfaces. But there’s a fine line between pride and fear. A very real fear that his mustache will take over his face.

10. Deadlines

deadline terror
“There aren’t enough hours in the day! Especially since I sleep though 18 of them!”

A seemingly irrational fear, since Louie does not have thumbs.

11. Empty Bowls 

no food terror
“When the bowl is empty, I fear for my own mortality.”

A legitimate fear. Who knows when he will eat again. Louie has no sense of time.

12. Full Bowls

food terror
“Too many bites. I don’t trust myself with THIS MANY BITES!!!”

A less legitimate fear. Maybe he’s watching his weight and is worried about all the carbs in kibble.

13. ‘Nothing at all’

nothing at all
“Fear consumes me.”

Does he really have to have a reason?

Featured image via @lovedoggiestyle

Written by: Dr. Katy Nelson

April 15, 2016

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A themed collection of BARK-designed toys, treats, and chews.