HELLOOO LARGE DOG PEOPLE – you know who you are. We prefer our pups to be the size of a small horse and know that SIZE DOES MATTER. Here’s the 17 things we are ALL guilty of doing.
1. Saying “LOOK AT THOSE SIZE 11 PAWS!” when they’re puppies. Repeatedly.
2. Warning friends who visit, “He’s big, but he’s sweet I promise.” And then cringing as your pup decides to single out the most terrified friend and use them as a chew toy.
3. Constantly being annoyed that there are NO cute dog clothes in your dog’s size.
4. Little known fact: All us big dog owners are compensating for something.
5. Buying ABSURDLY gigantic bones from your local butcher. What animal are they even from? Is the butcher raiding a dinosaur museum?
6. Being all too familiar with big dog farts… or maybe rockets do go off in your living room every night after dinner….
7. Being secretly glad your dog is so huge when you’re home alone. No one’s going to mess with you when he/she is around.
8. Curling yourself into the tiniest ball possible so your dog has more room on the bed to stretch out. Whose bed is it? The dog’s. Duh.
9. Picking up their enormous poos counts as weight training.
10. As does taking them for walks (that arm workout though).
11. As does that one time you tried lifting your pup since they’ve been full grown- HUGE MISTAKE!
12. You’ve seriously thought about buying a saddle and taking them ride for a ride.
13. Getting annoyed when people who are afraid of dogs… are afraid of your gigantic dog.
14. As soon as you saw the Direwolves in Game of Thrones your first thought was WHERE DO I GET ONE?!?
15. Being irrationally worried at the dog park that your dog might actually squish some of the smaller dogs.
16. Refusing to believe your dog WILL NOT FIT IN A BABY BJORN.
17. Wondering HOW?? when you’re at the dog rescue and you see a “Chihuahua/ Newfoundland Mix”. HOW DID THAT WORK?