The Hilarious “Wonderdog” Beginnings Of This American Idol Judge Will Blow Your Mind

Reviewed by Zoe Costello

December 27, 2015

Welcome to Bark After Dark, a series of hilarious but slightly unusual articles we post in the wee hours of the morning for you weirdos night owls. Not for the faint of heart, weak of stomach, or low of humor.This post contains adult language and is intended for humans 18 years and over, and canines 3 years and over. Enjoy!

You’ll NEVER guess who dressed up like a blue dog, flapped their yap, and flicked their wrists for a bunch of unimpressed Germans…

This is a room full of adults and this slim-hipped, dipshit* thinks it’s okay to prancercise around in a blue dog suit, red cape and utility belt!

I’m actually obsessed with this video. This “song” has been stuck in my head for weeks, and yeah, to be honest, I’m kinda jealous of Wonder Dog’s body.

*I normally wouldn’t call a person dancing in a dog costume a dipshit for the following reasons:

1. I don’t know that person and I try to be a somewhat decent person, at least in public.
2. The whole, “Don’t throw stones in glass houses” thing definitely applies here.

It's my favorite outfit. I have two.
It’s my favorite outfit. I have two.

HOWEVER, that all sorts of changed when, in the weirdest plot twist BarkPost has ever seen, I learned that that dancing dingleberry is none other than television producer “talent judge,” and famous dipshit extraordianire, SIMON COWELL.

Oh, you need more context? I DON’T BLAME YOU. Unfortunately, there is a surprising lack of information, since Mr. Cowell doesn’t consider it one of his proudest moments. But don’t worry, boys and squirrels, I’m a hard hitting gossipmonger journalist, and this is what I was able to find out: German musician, Harry Thumann produced the “Ruff Mix” song by sampling and mixing together the sound of dogs barking (duh). But it was 23-year-old, E&S Music founder, Simon Cowell, who not only acquired the rights to the tune, but also promoted it under the artist, “Wonderdog.”

Cue Simon dressing up as Wonderdog, prancing around soundstages, and looking high-larious for our Bark After Dark enjoyment. 🙂

Reviewed by Zoe Costello

December 27, 2015