Dachshunds were bred to hunt badgers, and apparently to feel absolutely no remorse for their actions! Somewhere along the line, the chromosomes that carry the genes for humility, guilt and shame were accidentally bred out of these pint sized trouble makers. Check out the proof below.
1. Much like prisoners, they strategically use their poop as a weapon.
2. They lull you into false security with their adorable snoozings, then crush your dreams with their waking sprees of destruction.
3. No species is safe from their reign (or shall I say “rain”) of terror.
4. They have odd fetishes, much like Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs.
5. They aren’t above impersonating handicapped pups so hide your parking passes!
6. They will shrewdly sabotage your summer plans.
7. They will do whatever it takes to remain only children. WHATEVER. IT. TAKES.
8. All food is their food.
9. They have no respect for antiques.
10. Or American Icons.
11. Or the veterinary community.
12. No one is safe when they are on a crime spree.
13. They could care less about the psychological damage their indecent exposure might cause.
14. Their demented urge for mayhem often results in self destructive behavior.
15. Are they selfish or just concealing evidence?
16. They employ shady accomplices.
17. Hmm, mutilated dinosaur…extinct species…coincidence?
18. They perform unlicensed carpentry.
19. They’ll do what they must to prevent a certain call from a certain dog officer.
20. They lack impulse control and are prone to binging and purging.
21. They refuse to conform to society’s gender stereotypes.
22. They treat family like “the help”.
23. And they treat ‘the help” like servants.
Featured image via Dog Shaming