What Your Favorite Dog Breed Says About What You Were Like In High School

Reviewed by Will Storie

November 10, 2015

Where did you fit in back in high school? Were you a jock or a nerd? A theatre kid or a metal head? Allow me to play Nostra-dog-us and determine exactly where you stood in the high school food chain. All I gotta know is your favorite dog breed.

(Pick one):

Husky, Bulldog, Labrador, Golden Retriever, Corgi, Boxer, Whippet,Chihuahua, Shiba, German Shepherd, Pug, Basset Hound, Pomeranian, Dachshund, Australian Shepherd, Bull Terrier, Pit Bull, Shih Tzu/Yorkie,Maltese, Komondor

1. If your favorite breed is the Chihuahua, you were probably: THE GOTH.


You’re not like all those sleepwalking sheep-dogs. You read poetry and you’ve smoked a cigarette. You know what it’s like to be weird and edgy and not taken seriously. Let the sheep laugh. You’ll be true to yourself ’til you’re in your tomb.

2. If your favorite breed is the SHIBA, you were probably: THE VALEDICTORIAN.


Clique? What’s a clique? The big test is on Friday, there’s no time to talk. One false step and you might end up at Yale.

3. If your favorite breed is the GERMAN SHEPHERD, you were probably: THE ROTC KID.


You’re strong, decisive, and you’ve known what you wanted to do your whole life: kick ass and serve your country. Some people say you’re too serious about it. WELL WHAT’S “TOO SERIOUS” ABOUT THE STARS AND STRIPES, BROTHER???

4. If your favorite breed is the PUG, you were probably: THE GEEK.


The normal social rules never applied to you. You live on another planet, and you and your friends like it that way. All that counts is whether you’ve got enough hit points to survive the Displacer Beast.

5. If your favorite breed is the BASSET HOUND, you were probably: THE REDNECK.


You always knew that book learnin’ was for suckers, and the memories that really mattered were those nights at the quarry, with brews and your buddies.

6. If your favorite breed is the POMERANIAN, you were probably: THE CHEERLEADER.


You’re fun, spunky, fluffy, and you love to yip yip yip for the home team.

7. If your favorite breed is the DACHSHUND, you were probably: THE THEATRE KID.


You’re cute, you’re charismatic, you’re just a little weird, and you need to be the center of attention — no matter what drama you’ve gotta stir up to stay there.

8. If your favorite breed is the CORGI, you were probably: THE BAND GEEK.


You might be a bit of a dork, but you know it and love it about yourself. And you’ve got a real good feeling about where this sousaphone scholarship’s gonna take you.

9. If your favorite breed is the BOXER, you were probably: THE JOCK.


It’s not like you’re lording it over anyone — you’re just a natural athlete, and you love to win. You’ll always stay true to your pack.

10. If your favorite breed is the WHIPPET, you were probably: THE DANCER.


You’re sleek, fragile, graceful, and a true beauty. You know what you love and you’ve got a single-minded determination to master your art.

11. If your favorite breed is the AUSTRALIAN SHEPHERD, you were probably: THE CHOIR KID.


Take the neurotic attention seeking of the theatre kid, mix with the goody-goody perfectionism of the valedictorian, and throw in an encyclopedic knowledge of the Phantom of the Opera original cast recording and you’ll have your high school self.

12. If your favorite breed is the BULL TERRIER, you were probably: THE NERD.


OK, you’ve been going to the gym lately, but we all know you’re still a little doofy and almost too smart for your own good. Just be yourself, it’s OK!

13. If your favorite breed is the PIT BULL, you were probably: THE MISUNDERSTOOD ONE.


Maybe you had a rough upbringing or maybe you always looked tougher than you really felt inside. In any case, you know what it’s like to have a heart of gold, even if it takes a special pup to see it.

14. If your favorite breed is the SHIH TZU or the YORKIE, you were probably: THE RICH KIDS & THEIR SIDEKICKS.


Haters can hate — you thrive on it. You rule this school, and Daddy has friends on the Duke admissions board, so you’re already set for the next chapter. You might be small but you’ll never let anyone look down on you. Except for…

15. If your favorite breed is the MALTESE, you were probably: THE QUEEN BEE.


Lots of kids can be snooty or influential, but they all bow down to the Maltese. And sorry Poodle people, you don’t count. You’re the Maltese’s emotionally distant, white wine sipping mother, and you always will be.

16. If your favorite breed is the KOMONDOR, you were probably: THE HIPPIE.


Heyyyyy everything’s gravy, am I right? Just sit back and watch the fur sway, man. It’s a thing of beauty. You know that life is a long, strange trip and you’re the type to keep on’ smiling.

17. If your favorite breed is the HUSKY, you were probably: THE METAL HEAD.


You’re tough, but you’re not afraid of your sensitive side. You make your own rules, you’re always smiling, and you know that high school’s just an opening act before life really starts shredding.

18. If your favorite breed is the BULLDOG, you were probably: THE CLASS CLOWN.


You might be a little flabby and maybe you slacked off in school, but your sly deadpan style and willingness to look a little silly made you everybody’s secret favorite.

19. If your favorite breed is the LABRADOR RETRIEVER, you were probably: THE NORMAL KID.


You’re a generally nice, cool person who liked everybody, didn’t cause any trouble, and fit right in with the pack. After all, some of us never really went for cliques.

20. If your favorite breed is the GOLDEN RETRIEVER, you were probably: THE SUPERHERO.


You’re smarter than the sporty kids, sportier than the smart kids, nice to everyone you meet, and man, you’re so genuine that nobody can even get mad about it. We all just hope you ask us to prom.

So, how did Nostra-dog-us do? And of course, there’s a lot more breeds and a lot more cliques, so if we think we missed your spot in the pack, let us know!

Featured Image via @adelegibbo

Reviewed by Will Storie

November 10, 2015