If Dogs Wrote “Missed Connections” Ads On Craigslist

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Do you guys believe in love at first sight? Because apparently there’s a whole section of Craigslist called Missed Connections where strangers try to contact The One That Got Away Because Y’all Are Absolute Strangers And You Literally Only Made Eye Contact One Time As You Passed Each Other On The Street. I’m not judging, just observing.

Our dogs meet so many other pups and humans on their daily walks, so how would a Missed Connections For Dogs look like? Is there a Rottweiler Romeo out there missing his Juliet?

“You was with your human and you looked beautiful but then you farted and I knew you was the one so I hope you see this and get back to me. Email me and tell me what it smelled like so I know it’s you.”

“You were running around off your leash when I spotted you. You, with the long flowing locks of fur whipping back and forth as you gleefully galloped down my street. l could only watch you from the window as you paused, briefly, to poop on our lawn … it was the most romantic gesture I’ve ever received in my entire 3 years on this earth. I love your sense of adventure. I want to pretend to be trash pandas and go spelunking in trash bins.

P.S.: My human was pretty peeved about the lawn poop.”

“I know this is a long shot, and I’ll probably never see you again, but you sniffed my butt on the corner of 96th and Columbus this morning. Normally I wouldn’t let anyone sniff my butt until we’re at least on a first name basis, but you’re special.”

“I smelled you before I even saw you, strolling past the dog run with the squinniest Dachshund under your left arm. I’m the Doxie who ran over to you. I barked like a maniac and you signaled at me for a quick second. If you’re up for it, I’d like to see you again. You smell like food.”

“I’m the pupper who got excited when u entered the dog run and sprayed u by mistake. gotta say, thought you’d be uptight about it and snap at me or something, but u didn’t, so i’m taking that as a sign that we’re meant to B. ill try 2 get my human 2 take me 2 that dog run again. Ruv u bb.”

“Hi, I’m not sure if this thing works but I’ll give it a try. You and your human and me and my human met yesterday at the vet’s office. You see, my human has been single for months even though she’s a pretty great human, and your human seems like her type. I thought maybe we could all go on a double date sometime. I hope this works… my human deserves to be happy.”

We sincerely hope that dog #1 finds his flatulant soulmate. After all, it’s not easy looking for love.

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Nicole Zalat

5 years ago