When you work in a pawffice, there are lots of things that you become desensitized to. But you quickly realize out of context, the majority of the conversations that go on here would be quite concerning, or even inappropriate.
1. “I can’t tell if I smell pee or a tasty soup.”
2. “Ricky is using my foot to scratch his butt. No, it’s fine, Ricky. You get yours.”
3. “Ok seriously whose wiener is running around on the 4th floor?”
4. “NO! That’s HUMAN water!”
5. “He smells.” “Like what?” “Doodie.”
6. “If you’re a good boy I’ll give you a piece of this.”
It depends on how bossy your boss is, to be honest.
7. “Is his red rocket out right now? OMG his red rocket is out.”
Pretty sure if this happened in an office with humans police would be involved.
8. “Nana is always down for whatever”.
“OOHHHH. The DOG Nana. Ok. Got it.”
9. “I don’t know she just loves to stick her butt in my face.”
Inappropriate human behavior. Normal dog behavior.
10. “Do you guys smell something?” “Yes.” “Is it a poop, or just a really bad fart?”
People are very quick to blame any funky smell on dogs when they’re in the office. I mean 98% of the time it’s probably the dog’s fart. But there’s always that 2%…
11. “Well well well, it looks like someone got their anal glands expressed.”
12. “My whole world is humping videos.”
13. “Wait you SPRAYED Frank’s butthole?” “Not the butthole. Just the butt hole area. He hated it.”
If you hear this in an office with humans you need to call HR immediately.
14. “Honestly I feel like she’s just using me for food.”
15. “Ziggy, that fart was next level.”
