Hello, welcome to your weekly dose of derp. This week’s dingus needs no introduction. His name is El Slobberito.
We’ll start with my personal favorite of his dingus qualities, the fact that he is always watching.
Always.
Seriously, always.
Even when you don’t realize it.
This dingus’s defining trait is his glorious neck folds. They look like they could house a small family. Seriously, I feel like I could hide in there all winter and emerge a butterfly.
He lives with his two sisters, Mandy and Emily. As you can see, he is dingusing in the background trying not to draw attention to himself while unintentionally being the most noticeable thing in this picture.
He spends his days turd mining in the yard. You can always tell when he hits the jackpot.
Something interesting about Basset Hounds is that even when they are truly enthused, they manage to seem so lethargic. If you watch this video without sound it looks like your average hound howl. When you add sound, it sounds like he is being possessed by an irritable rooster.
He has two emotions: overly ecstatic
or completely apathetic.
When he sleeps, he likes to become a hamburger.
But his true love is bacon. It’s really the only thing in life he gets excited about.
He does not do well in the sun. As someone who is half British, I can relate to that. Every time I step outside without sunglasses I start squinting like I’m trying to read the bottom line during an eye exam. Kind of like El Slobberito.
And like many dinguses, he is always standing around like he needs something but is too afraid to ask.
“Hey guys. You left me outside. I’d open the door myself, but it’s kind of hard when you don’t have opposable thumbs. If you pass through on the way to the kitchen or something, do you think you could maybe let me inside? As you know, I don’t do very well in the sun.”
He somehow always finds the most awkward place to position himself.
“Ugh, sitting is hard.”-Dinguses
“Like what do I do with my head?”
“Or my arms/body?”
Think your dog can out-derp El Slobberito? Submit your dingus here.
