Help! My Dog Is Trying To Become An Internet Celebrity

Written by: Tiffany White

October 3, 2015

There’s a phenomenon currently stirring amongst dogs. You might be aware of it. Has your dog suddenly started wearing dapper hats, taking selfies, or creating short videos of themselves set to hip-hop music?

Case in point:

I hate to tell you this, but your dog is guilty of trying to become…famous.

It’s a phenomenon that’s been growing in momentum. Lately, every dog has an Instagram account, along with a loyal following of thousands to sometimes millions of followers. Every time your dog makes a funny face?


A hundred likes. Every time your dog does that cute thing when they walk?

A thousand likes. Next thing you know your dog goes from being a humble little house pet to an attention starved mega celebrity a la Marnie, Tuna, or Doug.

Humans, we must stop this. If you want to rescue your dog from the fast and fabulous life of celebrity stardom, you must learn the necessary precautions. The first step? Learning the signs. How do you know your dog is trying to be famous? Usually they exhibit these characteristics:


1. They suddenly have an affinity for your clothes, particularly hats.


2. They start always wanting to take selfies with you.

3. They start stealing your phone when you’re not looking and then looking all innocent when they get caught.


Sometimes you even catch them in the act taking selfies.


4. They start photobombing your pics and doing other things to hog all the attention for themselves.

5. They start sticking their tongue out every time you take a pic.


6. They start dressing better, sometimes while staring at you seductively.


7. They start expecting the finer things in life.


8. Start developing dangerous levels of confidence.


9. People keep asking to take a pic with your dog (but not of you).

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10. Justin Bieber suddenly won’t leave you alone.


11. Did we mention hats?

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After you become aware of the signs, the next step is to figure out the risks. Here are the most common ones:

1. You keep missing your favorite shows because someone needs to be the center of attention.


2. Your house is a wreck from all the constant house parties.


3. Your credit cards are maxed out from expensive dog clothing purchases.


4. Hats.


The next step is prevention. If your dog is unpopular, you’ll only have to follow step one. However, if your dog has lots of followers, you must complete all steps if you want to make sure your dog is completely ridden of “stardom.”

Step 1: Take phone away from dog.


Step 2. Update dog’s Instagram account with a message to her followers explaining how she’s leaving the internet to go on a spiritual journey to Thailand/Bali/India, etc.


Step 3: Change password on phone and computer to keep dog from updating account while you’re sleeping.


If you follow these steps, you’re sure to have your dog back to normal in no time. Just remember this important lesson: only we can save dogs from the limitless black hole that is the internet. Don’t let your pup fall victim.


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Written by: Tiffany White

October 3, 2015

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