In a busy dog’s day, it can be hard find time to hit the dog park, or to arrange decadent, diverse, and nutritious meals. Inspired by ELLE magazine’s outrageous interview with Amanda Chantal Bacon, we decided to talk to Amanda Podengo Bacon, a socialite and major pawsonality on the celebridog scene. We were dazzled as the bitch walked us through all of the exotic and tasty treats she indulges in between sunrise and sunset.
At 8am, after waking up and taking a good deep stretch, I don my harness and walk my person through our neighborhood to the local dog run. I might stop to have a freshly chilled sip of street puddle, on the way. If you’re selective about which puddle to indulge in, you might be so lucky as to sample traces of pee-pee, shoe runoff, and various wind-bound seeds and gravel bits. This combination packs a punch for mineralization and hydration to start your day.
Once at the dog park, I like to stop by the fountain for some extra hydration – New York City’s finest, usually sprinkled with the fur of my friends, or hints of iron and playground grit, giving me a vitamin boost. I also might chew on an oak stick, marinated in Chocolate Labrador drool, or a bark bit, drizzled with just a hint of German Shepard urine. I also might help myself to a whiff of Bulldog butt, if I’m feeling frisky, to cleanse the palate.
Around 9:30 am I head home for a complete and balanced breakfast, as prepared by my person. I’m provided with a biologically appropriate meal, including locally sourced free range chicken and turkey, dried and kibbled, and today it’s been elegantly laced with a heartworm pill, that will keep parasites from gobbling my insides.
As the day goes on, I may indulge in various snacks and treats my person provides, for example I’ll nibble heirloom tomato, mozzarella and pepperoni bits that are sprinkled between the couch cushions. I’ll also lap up a spillage of milk mess in the kitchen, or spend an hour or two gnawing on an deer antler. My person leaves the antler pieces strewn about my abode, so they may be favored with dust bunny bits or foot funk.
And finally, for dinner, I’ll indulge in a meal of mashed up meat mix and sink water. Before bed, I’ll allow my person to pleasure me with a good belly rub and maybe a late treat – tonight I had fresh cheese droppings, flown down from the dining room table with care. Then I crawl into bed to sleep, before starting the whole process again the next day!
We hope you enjoyed tonight’s edition of Bark After Dark, the one-stop-shop for all your insane-in-the-canine, cuckoo-for-cocoa-ruffs, barking mad needs!