It’s a brand new year, and you know what that means. Time to conquer all those goals you didn’t complete last year. That promotion? That new relationship? But the easiest way to accomplish these goals is to repeat daily affirmations to yourself every day. After all, it seems to be working for these dogs….sort of.
1. “I’m smart, I’m handsome, and I take charge of my success. Who’s a good boy? I am.”
2. “I’m good at making friends. I’m good at making friends. I’m good at…”
3. “I’m the handsomest dog in the world. I’m so handsome, Scarlett Johansson wants to adopt me. Or Beyonce! Yeah, Beyonce.”
4. “Positive energy is flowing through my body. And poop. Lots of poop.”
5. “This year I finally finish writing my novel. It’s so successful I get a call from Oprah who’s all like, ‘Dog?’ And I’m like, ‘Yes, Oprah?’ And she’s like, ‘I’ll give you this pillowcase full of bacon for the rights to turn your novel into a movie.’ And I’ll be like, ‘You had me at bacon.'”
6. “I’m popular, people like me, and my Instagram followers are just as high as Tuna’s. OK, well maybe not as high as Tuna’s, but they’re pretty damn high.”
7. “I’m in a loving and supportive relationship….with myself.”
8. “My body is perfect exactly as it is. I no longer feel the need to wear t-shirts to the beach.”
9. “Negative thoughts and opinions no longer control me. My ears are not too big, mother.“
10. “Everything I touch is a success. I mean, I’m a Shiba. I don’t even have to affirm that. That’s just a fact.”
11. “I’m the life of the party. A fun, outgoing social butterfly who does not vomit when being introduced to people. I repeat, I do not vomit when being introduced to people.”
12. “Being fluffy is a blessing, one I embrace with open arms, er, I mean paws.”
13. “I WILL find my soul mate this year. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. But soon and for the rest of my life.”
14. “This year I’m sending positive vibes to my other ear, who’s still stuck in 2015.”
15. “This year will be the year I quit my job and finally fulfill my dream of running a successful Etsy store. The world of corporate servitude ends today for Fluffy McFloofingston!”
16. “I’m happy with my job, my relationship, my finances, and my butt sniffing record. Get ready world, here I come!”
