There are few words I can use to accurately describe what it feels like to adopt a 7.5 year old pug named Noodle. Some that come to mind: elation, terror, farts, pillows. Now let me begin my story.
It was a
unseasonably warm January evening when I was invited to do a standup show at the BarkPost offices (yes, a comic is writing this post. Consider yourself warned). At this event, I told the harrowing tale of how I met THE Doug the Pug. After the set, which went very well aside from some violent gesticulations (I get carried away), a woman named Deborah approached me about "a 7 year old pug named Noodle who needs a home and we would be perfect together.'
Needless to say, we swapped contact information and the short time of two weeks, I became Noodle's dad. Gay dad. I'm Noodle's gay dad.
The above image is of Noodle en route to my apartment for the very first time. Please note his beaming smile. He smiled all the way, eventually driving to my Harlem apartment in style - and by that I mean a Subaru. After Deborah left, Noodle and I began our lives together by taking a lot of pictures in various lighting.
Noodle then began to beg for food, which as a new dog owner, I was not about to ignore. I fed him an illustrious meal of boiled chicken and carrots (he did not eat the carrots and I did not care). Then I promptly put him on my couch so I could start working. Everything went fabulously.
After I had finished working and Noodle finally woke up, we went on our very first walk. Here's the part of the story where I learned something about Noodle: he is not a walker. Well, he is. As a four legged creature, he walks. Proficiently. But what Noodle does not do is walk for pleasure
, something he and I have in common. He does, however, smile really brightly.
After about 30 minutes of walking, he got so tired my friend Chris had to carry him.
We returned home and noodle was EXHAUSTED. He barely walked a mile and simply couldn't go anymore. Ahh, the life of a pug.
He then proceeded to nap.
Upon waking up like a spring flower bursting from a previously wintry earthen crust, Noodle farted and realized we had company over. He made it a point to find my friend Cailin's lap and make it a home. Please observe:
My three friends and I collectively marinated in his glory for about 30 more minutes before beginning the smash hit novel-to-screen film "The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe". Noodle was very invested in the movie, but there came a part where CGI wolves ran across the screen and Noodle couldn't be bothered by them. But then I got to thinking - is it the CGI wolves he's barking at? Is it the choice-y casting of Lucy? Is it the fact that Santa straight up makes a cameo? I may never know. But Noodle is adorable.
I LOVE YOU NOODLE! If you want to follow his
sleeping regimen, follow his Instagram account @showmenoodz!