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1. Doug: “Was I a carrot in my former life?”
2. Homer: “I smell, therefore I am…”
3. Davie: “Does kibble exist if you’re not in the room with it????”
4. Otis: “Am I a cat in another dimension?”
5. Charlie: “I eat. I sleep. I eat. I sleep. THERE HAS TO BE MORE.”
6. Norm: “Nirvana shall never be achieved through table scraps. Damn it.”
7. Prince: “Do I like Greenies? Or do I LOVE them?”
8. Bruno: “I am often haunted by the great toy massacre of 2009.”
9. Lola: “There is no such thing as unconditional love. Exhibit A: The treat jar.”
10. Loulou: “Every bully stick I chew is my last and my first.”
11. Giles: “Free will is for fools. Give me regular meals in a crate any day.”
12. Garcon & Manzo: “We know the secret to feeling full.”
13. Kingston: “There is no meal not formal. There is no kibble not a celebration of life. There is no treat that is not a journey.”
14. Ernest: “I will taste all things in life. I do no discriminate. I do not judge.”
15. Nutello: “Bacon is why I breathe, move, blink. Bacon is what I see. Bacon made me the pup I am today. Yet my soul is a barren wasteland.”
16. Pickles: “I hate Pickles. So do I hate myself?”
17. Tofu: “My soul is vegan. But my tastes are omnivore.”
