Don’t hold it against yourself. Sometimes these thoughts just pop into your head. There’s nothing you can do about it. You’re alone, in a room, with your dog. Then all of a sudden, you find yourself thinking…
1. Do I really taste as good as the dog thinks I do? #LickPicks
2. Dogs would NEVER name food after humans.
3. Other dogs don’t understand my Chihuahua. I think he barks in Spanish.
4. Are they dreaming about running to something? Or from something?
5. They might have meant Man’s Best Frenemy.
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6. If dogs sweat through their mouths, and humans sweat through their armpits, what are a dog’s armpits for?
7. Dogs have fewer taste buds than humans. Which explains a lot actually.
8. Dude. I took your nuts. WHY are you still humping things?!
9. But the brochures from the rescue said dogs don’t take things personally…
10. … or know how to take advantage of human emotions…
11. … I think they need to rewrite the brochures.
12. Why does it rain every time the dog licks their crotch?
13. I think it’s nice, ya know, that you return the favor. #PoopWatching
14. Why is my dog’s junk so… huge?
15. I would trade places with my dog in a second. #Jealous
