13 Hilarious Things You Say To Your Dog You Wish You Could Say To Your Ex

Written by: Claire Beaudreault

May 4, 2015

It’s true. We can often say things to our pup-mate that we could NEVER say to hoomans. This includes of course, those who we romantically connected with…and then fell out of ruv.

Here are 13 hilarious things you say to your dog you totally wish you could say to your ex.

1. “You’re such a blanket hog!!!”

shiba blanket hog

2. “I’m working…could you please stop interrupting me?”

take_your_dog_to_work_day papillon desk woman working

3. “You’re making this very difficult.”

couple arguing with dog

4. “I just wish you you would put a little more effort into your wardrobe.”

greyhound in sweat suit

5. “I always have to clean up your sh*t.”


6. “I wish you would stop humping everyone and everything.”


7. “Um, you’re kind of a sloppy kisser.”

dog licking woman sloppy kisser

8. “Babe, can it wait? I’m about to beat this level.”

video game dog

9. “Honey, your breath…”

dog breath toothbrush

10. “Please stay.”

dog stay woman making dog sit

11. “Come back to me! Where are you going???”

man chasing dog

12. “Do you miss me?”


13. “I really have learned so much from our time together.”

blonde woman hugging dog

Featured image via WebMD

Written by: Claire Beaudreault

May 4, 2015